Steadying your triggers after a heart attack
I’ve always known it’s better to respond than react in chaotic circumstances. But it took a heart attack to teach me to turn that same skill inward — on myself, not just on everyone else.
Stronger After The Storm logo, dark navy, white text with a red cracked heart and pulse line running through
Watch on YouTube
This episode is also available on YouTube if you prefer to watch there.
Where the Skill Came From
Running busy bars, working behind the bar on a Saturday night when the place is full of people enjoying themselves, celebrating, and sometimes getting away with themselves a bit too much — you have to learn to respond rather than react. Reacting can make the situation a lot worse. You have to be able to talk to someone and calm things down before it gets any further.
Running a busy kitchen as head chef was the same. Every second a steak sits in the pan is a second closer to overdone. You’re depending on a whole team to bring everything together, and if they don’t, the meals get spoiled. It was always better to take a breath in those moments — even knowing full well you could react.
So the skill was already there, years before the heart attack. I just never turned it on myself.
A Recent Example — Reacting Instead of Responding
One of my subcontractors was pushing things a little at work the other day. Walking away a bit early, niggled because another subcontractor was in his way. A fair point on his part, in some ways — we’d all love to get away earlier than we should some days.
But my clients are paying for a full day’s work. I pointed out that he was often a wee bit late starting in the morning, and often stopped a few minutes early at breaks. I reacted in a way I shouldn’t have. Afterwards, walking away, I thought — I should have handled that differently.
The Early Recovery Version
In the early days after my heart attack, I’d get frustrated with myself — frustration about what I couldn’t do now compared to before, whenever I overexerted. I’d get hiked up. I had to have a word with myself. Bring myself back down. Take a few breaths and think — what have you just been through? You can’t be doing this.
The British Heart Foundation and the NHS both recognise that stress and emotional reactivity can genuinely affect heart health during recovery, and both recommend simple breathing and pause techniques as part of managing that. The American Heart Association highlights similar guidance for anyone rebuilding their emotional resilience after a cardiac event.
If you’re in that early stage right now — the frustration, the buttons getting pushed too easily — the 7-Day Mind Reset Plan came directly out of that period.
What the Pause Actually Looks Like
You can only breathe so many times, walk away so many times, and then sometimes you react anyway. The reaction is never a good thing. It never ends well for anyone.
We’re all human. You must have your own version of this — before your heart attack or after — a moment you can look back on where it would have been better to walk away, bite your lip, take a breath, and return to the situation once it had settled.
Listen and Watch
You can listen to this episode in the player above or watch on YouTube if you prefer.
If this connects with where you are right now, you might also find something in these:
👉 The Anger Nobody Talks About
👉 When the Panic Comes Back
👉 Mind Over Heart
Final Thought
Responding instead of reacting was never about learning something completely new. For me it was about taking a skill I already had — built behind bars and in kitchens under real pressure — and finally pointing it inward.
If you’ve had a moment like this yourself, I’d genuinely like to know. Let me know in the comments.
If the head noise is still there in the background: